Wish

My wishes may not come true,

I may never again be close to you.

How can one day change so much?

And now I shrink from your touch.

I know it wasn't your fault,

But blame has become my default.

It's not abandonment I feel,

But the loneliness was no less real.

There are moments we'd like to take back,

The times when we both attack.

I wish we could work this out,

But I have begun to doubt.

The scars we've made run too deep,

And I'm not ready to make that leap.

I wish I was ready to forgive,

But how can I when all I do is relive?

Those moments of pain never end,

Those times when I needed a friend.

Regardless of why you weren't there,

And despite the fact that I know you care,

You weren't there.

When I needed you most,

It was as if you were a ghost.

I cannot let go,

I hope you never know.

Nothing you do can change,

Nothing you say can rearrange,

I'm long past that place,

Where pain can just be erased.

I wish we knew how to move on,

But all we've ever done is been strong.

That's no way to live a life,

And all it's led to is endless strife.

I wish I could let you back in,

But I don't even know where to begin.

I wish all my wishes could come true,

But that would require trusting you,

Something I can't bring myself to do.